Why Do I Love The Sissy you Are?

[kendrasissytv]

i have been talking to mistresses for the past 6 months and with their help have become more of a sissy than i could ever have possibly imagined! Wearing panties to work everyday, painting my toenails bright, vibrant colors, doing my sissy mantras...omg, i can't believe how much of a sissy i've become! i can't begin to express my admiration for all the mistresses who push us newbies to emasculate and feminize ourselves with compassion and resolve. i wouldn't be the femme gay sissy i am today without them. Don't be afraid sissies, take the plunge, you won't regret it!

[susan9316]

Congratulations kendrasissytv! We are each on our own path and is soo helpful to have the guidance of a caring and knowledgeable Mistress. i know that i have moved along the road of embracing my inner girl and loving becoming more feminine in many ways. It feels like going home. i know that the man i once was is gone now. That is simply a fact. No regrets, only the joy of blossoming into a more complete sissy each day. i am asking my Mistress to help me progressively put aside the remnants of my masculinity and guide me to the sweet embrace of myself as a fully feminized sissy girl. Meanwhile, off to yoga class with the ladies tomorrow wearing my new feminine top and loving it.

[kendrasissytv]

Thank you susan! It sounds like we have both met very nurturing and knowledgeable mistresses who know what to do with us. i too have watched my masculinity disappear, replaced by a wonderful femininity that is now at the core of who i am. Embracing our emasculation can only lead us to where we ultimately belong. i look forward to hearing about your yoga class and your further exploits as your journey as a sissy continues

[Jamie Michelle]

Why do I encourage you to be girlie you ask? Well, not only do I encourage it, I try to help you get there, in most any way that I can. Whether it's watching you reach your potential, or having some humiliation fun, or just making sure you're as naughty as possible, I enjoy the show... so let's get started ;)

http://eroticaudios.com/content/Christi ... YouAre.mp3

Hi, Empress Christine. Thank you for this audio.

I actually wanted to reply to this audio by you sooner, as the things you said in your audio really struck a chord with me. But I guess getting to it now is much better than never.

The progression you describe in your audio is the progression that lead to me being a openly gay sissy. I started dressing up when I was cupcake, at around age 11 years, because making myself feminine and pretty was something that I was for whatever reason drawn to (I don't know myself why I was drawn to this, but maybe it has to do with my dainty physique--so besides my body being rather feminine, perhaps my brain also developed in a somewhat feminine way). But from there, in being dressed-up, it made me think about how it would feel to be a girl with a guy. Dressing up femininely made me *feel* really feminine, and so I wanted to feel what it was like to be a girl in other ways. Hence, I started fantasizing about me being a girl with a guy, and how that would feel.

Well, from that early beginning of my sissiness, I had many struggles in coming to terms with the fact that this is the way I am. I tried to fight against it--I tried to fight against my feminine side so hard. It wasn't easy for me, but I've now reached the stage where I like being an openly gay sissy. I now live as basically a sissy-wife with a masculine man. How I came to terms with my feminine side and reached this stage where I'm now open with everyone about my feminine nature and my love for masculine men is a story unto itself, one which I've already related on this forum a number of times.

So what you describe in your audio rings very true with me. My sissiness started off seemingly innocent enough, but eventually it lead to me being an out-of-the-closet feminine faggot openly being the life-partner of a masculine man.

It's funny how life works out, as in my cupcake beginnings of crossdressing, I never suspected that this is how I'd end up. I used to think of myself as butch and straight--at least that's what I tried to convince myself I was, despite my secret faggotry. I was so deep in denial.

So like I said, it was very difficult for me to reach this stage of openness that I now have with everyone. Letting people know thay I'm not actually straight and butch, but that I am instead gay and feminine, wasn't very easy for me psychologically speaking. But I feel so liberated in having gotten over that high hurdle. Now that I've let everyone know that I'm a feminine gay male, there's no turning back for me. I've burned my bridges. It's not like I can now say, "Oh, I was just kidding! I'm really straight and masculine!" (Not that I made a very convincing male even when I was in the closet.)

But I like that there's no turning back, because I wouldn't want to go back into the closet even if I had the choice. And as I've said, I've come to love myself as an openly gay sissy. It feels really nice being able to be feminine all the time. It's such a burden off of me not having to pretend being butch anymore. Plus it's so nice letting others now who I really am, instead of keeping my girlie side hidden from the world.

Thanks for this wonderful recording, Empress Christine!

[Empress Christine]

i have been talking to mistresses for the past 6 months and with their help have become more of a sissy than i could ever have possibly imagined! Wearing panties to work everyday, painting my toenails bright, vibrant colors, doing my sissy mantras...omg, i can't believe how much of a sissy i've become! i can't begin to express my admiration for all the mistresses who push us newbies to emasculate and feminize ourselves with compassion and resolve. i wouldn't be the femme gay sissy i am today without them. Don't be afraid sissies, take the plunge, you won't regret it!

Great advice kendra, and you are correct, they need to just take that leap, don't they? If they allow us to push those limits and advance in their emasculation and sissy training, they'll never regret it!

[Empress Christine]

Congratulations kendrasissytv! We are each on our own path and is soo helpful to have the guidance of a caring and knowledgeable Mistress. i know that i have moved along the road of embracing my inner girl and loving becoming more feminine in many ways. It feels like going home. i know that the man i once was is gone now. That is simply a fact. No regrets, only the joy of blossoming into a more complete sissy each day. i am asking my Mistress to help me progressively put aside the remnants of my masculinity and guide me to the sweet embrace of myself as a fully feminized sissy girl. Meanwhile, off to yoga class with the ladies tomorrow wearing my new feminine top and loving it.

Susan, I bet there are days that you wake up and feel like you're an actual female, don't you? I'm not surprised, that is quite common when you are properly trained and the training is ongoing

[Empress Christine]

Thank you susan! It sounds like we have both met very nurturing and knowledgeable mistresses who know what to do with us. i too have watched my masculinity disappear, replaced by a wonderful femininity that is now at the core of who i am. Embracing our emasculation can only lead us to where we ultimately belong. i look forward to hearing about your yoga class and your further exploits as your journey as a sissy continues

I happen to know for a fact that kendra is very feminine and I love the time we've spent together

[Empress Christine]

Why do I encourage you to be girlie you ask? Well, not only do I encourage it, I try to help you get there, in most any way that I can. Whether it's watching you reach your potential, or having some humiliation fun, or just making sure you're as naughty as possible, I enjoy the show... so let's get started

http://eroticaudios.com/content/Christi ... YouAre.mp3

Hi, Empress Christine. Thank you for this audio.

I actually wanted to reply to this audio by you sooner, as the things you said in your audio really stuck a cord with me. But I guess getting to it now is much better than never.

The progression you describe in your audio is the progression that lead to me being a openly gay sissy. I started dressing up when I was cupcake, at around age 11 years, because making myself feminine and pretty was something that I was for whatever reason drawn to (I don't know myself why I was drawn to this, but maybe it has to do with my dainty physique--so besides my body being rather feminine, perhaps my brain also developed in a somewhat feminine way). But from there, in being dressed-up, it made me think about how it would feel to be a girl with a guy. Dressing up femininely made me *feel* really feminine, and so I wanted to feel what it was like to be a girl in other ways. Hence, I started fantasizing about me being a girl with a guy, and how that would feel.

Well, from that early beginning of my sissiness, I had many struggles in coming to terms with the fact that this is the way I am. I tried to fight against it--I tried to fight against my feminine side so hard. It wasn't easy for me, but I've now reached the stage where I like being an openly gay sissy. I now live as basically a sissy-wife with a masculine man. How I came to terms with my feminine side and reached this stage where I'm now open with everyone about my feminine nature and my love for masculine men is a story unto itself, one which I've already related on this forum a number of times.

So what you describe in your audio rings very true with me. My sissiness started off seemingly innocent enough, but eventually it lead to me being an out-of-the-closet feminine faggot openly being the life-partner of a masculine man.

It's funny how life works out, as in my cupcake beginnings of crossdressing, I never suspected that this is how I'd end up. I used to think of myself as butch and straight--at least that's what I tried to convince myself I was, despite my secret faggotry. I was so deep in denial.

So like I said, it was very difficult for me to reach this stage of openness that I now have with everyone. Letting people know thay I'm not actually straight and butch, but that I am instead gay and feminine, wasn't very easy for me psychologically speaking. But I feel so liberated in having gotten over that high hurdle. Now that I've let everyone now that I'm a feminine gay male, there's no turning back for me. I've burned my bridges. It's not like I can now say, "Oh, I was just kidding! I'm really straight and masculine!" (Not that I made a very convincing male even when I was in the closet.)

But I like that there's no turning back, because I wouldn't want to go back into the closet even if I had the choice. And as I've said, I've come to love myself as a openly gay sissy. It feels really nice being able to be feminine all the time. It's such a burden off of me not having to pretend being butch anymore. Plus it's so nice letting others now who I really am, instead of keeping my girlie side hidden from the world.

Thanks for this wonderful recording, Empress Christine!

I'm glad you enjoyed the audio and in the photo of you here Jamie Michelle, you are quite feminine (facially) and attractive

I'm glad you were courageous enough to take the steps necessary to be the the feminine gay male that would otherwise be locked deep inside you. It is tough to let all that girlieness out sometimes and Kudos to you for going for it. Its an inspiration to all the CDs and sissies out there that come to me for help.

And congrats on finding a Masculine Male to be with and love... I'm sure he's very happy with his girl

[Jamie Michelle]

Why do I encourage you to be girlie you ask? Well, not only do I encourage it, I try to help you get there, in most any way that I can. Whether it's watching you reach your potential, or having some humiliation fun, or just making sure you're as naughty as possible, I enjoy the show... so let's get started ;)

http://eroticaudios.com/content/Christi ... YouAre.mp3

Hi, Empress Christine. Thank you for this audio.

I actually wanted to reply to this audio by you sooner, as the things you said in your audio really struck a chord with me. But I guess getting to it now is much better than never.

The progression you describe in your audio is the progression that lead to me being a openly gay sissy. I started dressing up when I was cupcake, at around age 11 years, because making myself feminine and pretty was something that I was for whatever reason drawn to (I don't know myself why I was drawn to this, but maybe it has to do with my dainty physique--so besides my body being rather feminine, perhaps my brain also developed in a somewhat feminine way). But from there, in being dressed-up, it made me think about how it would feel to be a girl with a guy. Dressing up femininely made me *feel* really feminine, and so I wanted to feel what it was like to be a girl in other ways. Hence, I started fantasizing about me being a girl with a guy, and how that would feel.

Well, from that early beginning of my sissiness, I had many struggles in coming to terms with the fact that this is the way I am. I tried to fight against it--I tried to fight against my feminine side so hard. It wasn't easy for me, but I've now reached the stage where I like being an openly gay sissy. I now live as basically a sissy-wife with a masculine man. How I came to terms with my feminine side and reached this stage where I'm now open with everyone about my feminine nature and my love for masculine men is a story unto itself, one which I've already related on this forum a number of times.

So what you describe in your audio rings very true with me. My sissiness started off seemingly innocent enough, but eventually it lead to me being an out-of-the-closet feminine faggot openly being the life-partner of a masculine man.

It's funny how life works out, as in my cupcake beginnings of crossdressing, I never suspected that this is how I'd end up. I used to think of myself as butch and straight--at least that's what I tried to convince myself I was, despite my secret faggotry. I was so deep in denial.

So like I said, it was very difficult for me to reach this stage of openness that I now have with everyone. Letting people know thay I'm not actually straight and butch, but that I am instead gay and feminine, wasn't very easy for me psychologically speaking. But I feel so liberated in having gotten over that high hurdle. Now that I've let everyone now that I'm a feminine gay male, there's no turning back for me. I've burned my bridges. It's not like I can now say, "Oh, I was just kidding! I'm really straight and masculine!" (Not that I made a very convincing male even when I was in the closet.)

But I like that there's no turning back, because I wouldn't want to go back into the closet even if I had the choice. And as I've said, I've come to love myself as a openly gay sissy. It feels really nice being able to be feminine all the time. It's such a burden off of me not having to pretend being butch anymore. Plus it's so nice letting others now who I really am, instead of keeping my girlie side hidden from the world.

Thanks for this wonderful recording, Empress Christine!

I'm glad you enjoyed the audio and in the photo of you here Jamie Michelle, you are quite feminine (facially) and attractive :)

I'm glad you were courageous enough to take the steps necessary to be the the feminine gay male that would otherwise be locked deep inside you. It is tough to let all that girlieness out sometimes and Kudos to you for going for it. Its an inspiration to all the CDs and sissies out there that come to me for help.

And congrats on finding a Masculine Male to be with and love... I'm sure he's very happy with his girl ;)

Hi, Empress Christine. Thank you for your compliment on how I look. In the below link you can see more pictures of me. They're from 2004, but I haven't changed in looks hardly. I'm still the same dainty and feminine sissy.

"Jamie Michelle's photostream" http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamie_michelle/

I'm appreciative of your encouragement regarding me coming out of the closet and living my life as a gay sissy. It feels wonderful being feminine and gay and not having to worry about who knows. While it wasn't my intention to be an inspiration for others on this matter, I do hope that other males who are feminine in secret can eventually let their girlie side blossom for all to see. I think that many such males will like their lives much better when they can be girlie all the time. I know that's certainly the case with me. It's such a weight off of my shoulders not having to live out my life as a butch male and not having to worry about what others might suspect about me. I like it so much that I can be feminine all the time and that everyone who knows me in real life knows that this is the way I am.

Thank you for your congratulations on me finding my man Len. He's a real manly-man, very burly and hairy. I love sitting on his lap while being cradled in his arms as I feel the hair on his chest. He's so big and powerful, and being held in his strong arms like that makes me feel so little and delicate.

Of course, my favorite is when Len makes love to me. That makes me feel the most feminine out of all the feminine experiences that I have. I like how as a feminine person I get to feel sex on the inside. To me, being receptive like that is much more intense and intimate than the usual way guys have sex, which is on their outside. I love taking Len's erect manhood up into me. That's such an exquisitely feminine feeling for me. And since we're basically husband and wife, Len of course finishes inside my fanny. That makes me feel so very feminine too, as it makes me feel like I'm a real woman with my husband, making love just as a husband and wife would do. Plus I love knowing that I'm carrying my man's semen in my tushy as I go about my daily activities. Realizing that I have my man's load up my derrière makes me feel ultra-feminine.

And you're right, Empress Christine, as I also know that Len is happy with me as his girl. The way he kisses, cuddles and fucks me lets me know that he really likes me! Teehee.

[Empress Christine]

Hi, Empress Christine. Thank you for this audio.

I actually wanted to reply to this audio by you sooner, as the things you said in your audio really struck a chord with me. But I guess getting to it now is much better than never.

The progression you describe in your audio is the progression that lead to me being a openly gay sissy. I started dressing up when I was cupcake, at around age 11 years, because making myself feminine and pretty was something that I was for whatever reason drawn to (I don't know myself why I was drawn to this, but maybe it has to do with my dainty physique--so besides my body being rather feminine, perhaps my brain also developed in a somewhat feminine way). But from there, in being dressed-up, it made me think about how it would feel to be a girl with a guy. Dressing up femininely made me *feel* really feminine, and so I wanted to feel what it was like to be a girl in other ways. Hence, I started fantasizing about me being a girl with a guy, and how that would feel.

Well, from that early beginning of my sissiness, I had many struggles in coming to terms with the fact that this is the way I am. I tried to fight against it--I tried to fight against my feminine side so hard. It wasn't easy for me, but I've now reached the stage where I like being an openly gay sissy. I now live as basically a sissy-wife with a masculine man. How I came to terms with my feminine side and reached this stage where I'm now open with everyone about my feminine nature and my love for masculine men is a story unto itself, one which I've already related on this forum a number of times.

So what you describe in your audio rings very true with me. My sissiness started off seemingly innocent enough, but eventually it lead to me being an out-of-the-closet feminine faggot openly being the life-partner of a masculine man.

It's funny how life works out, as in my cupcake beginnings of crossdressing, I never suspected that this is how I'd end up. I used to think of myself as butch and straight--at least that's what I tried to convince myself I was, despite my secret faggotry. I was so deep in denial.

So like I said, it was very difficult for me to reach this stage of openness that I now have with everyone. Letting people know thay I'm not actually straight and butch, but that I am instead gay and feminine, wasn't very easy for me psychologically speaking. But I feel so liberated in having gotten over that high hurdle. Now that I've let everyone now that I'm a feminine gay male, there's no turning back for me. I've burned my bridges. It's not like I can now say, "Oh, I was just kidding! I'm really straight and masculine!" (Not that I made a very convincing male even when I was in the closet.)

But I like that there's no turning back, because I wouldn't want to go back into the closet even if I had the choice. And as I've said, I've come to love myself as a openly gay sissy. It feels really nice being able to be feminine all the time. It's such a burden off of me not having to pretend being butch anymore. Plus it's so nice letting others now who I really am, instead of keeping my girlie side hidden from the world.

Thanks for this wonderful recording, Empress Christine!

I'm glad you enjoyed the audio and in the photo of you here Jamie Michelle, you are quite feminine (facially) and attractive

I'm glad you were courageous enough to take the steps necessary to be the the feminine gay male that would otherwise be locked deep inside you. It is tough to let all that girlieness out sometimes and Kudos to you for going for it. Its an inspiration to all the CDs and sissies out there that come to me for help.

And congrats on finding a Masculine Male to be with and love... I'm sure he's very happy with his girl

Hi, Empress Christine. Thank you for your compliment on how I look. In the below link you can see more pictures of me. They're from 2004, but I haven't changed in looks hardly. I'm still the same dainty and feminine sissy.

"Jamie Michelle's photostream" http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamie_michelle/

I'm appreciative of your encouragement regarding me coming out of the closet and living my life as a gay sissy. It feels wonderful being feminine and gay and not having to worry about who knows. While it wasn't my intention to be an inspiration for others on this matter, I do hope that other males who are feminine in secret can eventually let their girlie side blossom for all to see. I think that many such males will like their lives much better when they can be girlie all the time. I know that's certainly the case with me. It's such a weight off of my shoulders not having to live out my life as a butch male and not having to worry about what others might suspect about me. I like it so much that I can be feminine all the time and that everyone who knows me in real life knows that this is the way I am.

Thank you for your congratulations on me finding my man Len. He's a real manly-man, very burly and hairy. I love sitting on his lap while being cradled in his arms as I feel the hair on his chest. He's so big and powerful, and being held in his strong arms like that makes me feel so little and delicate.

Of course, my favorite is when Len makes love to me. That makes me feel the most feminine out of all the feminine experiences that I have. I like how as a feminine person I get to feel sex on the inside. To me, being receptive like that is much more intense and intimate than the usual way guys have sex, which is on their outside. I love taking Len's erect manhood up into me. That's such an exquisitely feminine feeling for me. And since we're basically husband and wife, Len of course finishes inside my fanny. That makes me feel so very feminine too, as it makes me feel like I'm a real woman with my husband, making love just as a husband and wife would do. Plus I love knowing that I'm carrying my man's semen in my tushy as I go about my daily activities. Realizing that I have my man's load up my derrière makes me feel ultra-feminine.

And you're right, Empress Christine, as I also know that Len is happy with me as his girl. The way he kisses, cuddles and fucks me lets me know that he really likes me! Teehee.

I am sure that you do love the love making Jamie Michelle as you should. And I would say he must adore you, why wouldn't he

But I can see why the cuddling and affection is as pleasureable to you as the love making or atleast close. The affection is the part that makes you truly "his girl" and that is the ultimate in feminization and submission (for a sissy).

Enjoy your man and stay girlie

[Jamie Michelle]

I'm glad you enjoyed the audio and in the photo of you here Jamie Michelle, you are quite feminine (facially) and attractive :)

I'm glad you were courageous enough to take the steps necessary to be the the feminine gay male that would otherwise be locked deep inside you. It is tough to let all that girlieness out sometimes and Kudos to you for going for it. Its an inspiration to all the CDs and sissies out there that come to me for help.

And congrats on finding a Masculine Male to be with and love... I'm sure he's very happy with his girl ;)

Hi, Empress Christine. Thank you for your compliment on how I look. In the below link you can see more pictures of me. They're from 2004, but I haven't changed in looks hardly. I'm still the same dainty and feminine sissy.

"Jamie Michelle's photostream" http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamie_michelle/

I'm appreciative of your encouragement regarding me coming out of the closet and living my life as a gay sissy. It feels wonderful being feminine and gay and not having to worry about who knows. While it wasn't my intention to be an inspiration for others on this matter, I do hope that other males who are feminine in secret can eventually let their girlie side blossom for all to see. I think that many such males will like their lives much better when they can be girlie all the time. I know that's certainly the case with me. It's such a weight off of my shoulders not having to live out my life as a butch male and not having to worry about what others might suspect about me. I like it so much that I can be feminine all the time and that everyone who knows me in real life knows that this is the way I am.

Thank you for your congratulations on me finding my man Len. He's a real manly-man, very burly and hairy. I love sitting on his lap while being cradled in his arms as I feel the hair on his chest. He's so big and powerful, and being held in his strong arms like that makes me feel so little and delicate.

Of course, my favorite is when Len makes love to me. That makes me feel the most feminine out of all the feminine experiences that I have. I like how as a feminine person I get to feel sex on the inside. To me, being receptive like that is much more intense and intimate than the usual way guys have sex, which is on their outside. I love taking Len's erect manhood up into me. That's such an exquisitely feminine feeling for me. And since we're basically husband and wife, Len of course finishes inside my fanny. That makes me feel so very feminine too, as it makes me feel like I'm a real woman with my husband, making love just as a husband and wife would do. Plus I love knowing that I'm carrying my man's semen in my tushy as I go about my daily activities. Realizing that I have my man's load up my derrière makes me feel ultra-feminine.

And you're right, Empress Christine, as I also know that Len is happy with me as his girl. The way he kisses, cuddles and fucks me lets me know that he really likes me! Teehee.

I am sure that you do love the love making Jamie Michelle as you should. And I would say he must adore you, why wouldn't he :)

But I can see why the cuddling and affection is as pleasureable to you as the love making or atleast close. The affection is the part that makes you truly "his girl" and that is the ultimate in feminization and submission (for a sissy).

Enjoy your man and stay girlie ;)

It's interesting that you mention submission in your above comments, Empress Christine. I'm not into Dominance & Submission, at least not in the sense of role-playing or setting-out any type of rules and so forth, but it does make me feel submissive to be with a powerful masculine man like Len. As I said, I don't like cupcake roles or play-acting, but it's a feeling that just comes naturally to me when I'm with a real man. Being mounted by Len during sex brings out very submissive feelings in me. It feels very primordial and ancient. It's like I'm taking part in a very ancient and sacred feminine ritual; like I'm connected to a source of primordial womanhood; that I've joined in the sorority of womanhood. It makes me feel like I'm getting to experience an intense form of pleasure that is usually the exclusive domain of women.

Not that I hold any pretense that I know what it's actually like to be a genetic woman, as to me that seems to be presumptuous. I didn't grow up feeling like a girl trapped in a male body. Even though I was a secret crossdresser from the age of 11 years, I used to think I was butch and straight--at least that's how I tried to conceive of myself. Hence, coming out as a fag--and an outwardly feminine fag, at that--carries with me particularly humiliating feelings than I suppose would be the case if I had grown up always knowing that I was gay, as I thought I was straight and butch like the other guys. Denial was obviously very strong in me, as I'd make up excuses to myself for why my secret dressing in my mom's clothes and anally masturbating while fantasizing about manly-men didn't really mean anything.

There is what is called lordosis behavior, also called mammalian lordosis, which is seen in female mammals during mating. It's where the female mammal arches her back and raises up her buttocks in order to be mounted by the male. When I'm with a masculine man in the doggy-style position--or even when standing while being taken by my man from behind--it comes naturally to me to arch my back and to raise my butt up in order to present myself for mounting by my man. Until recently I didn't even know that there was this term, lordosis behavior, for this feminine behavior that just came naturally to me.

So it appears that a lot of the submissive feelings that I have in being a feminine bottom with a masculine top are actually older than humanity itself, and are in fact instinctual and animalistic. These feelings seem to come naturally in taking on the feminine role sexually with a masculine male.

Regarding cuddling and kissing my man apart from during sex, yes, that makes me feel really girlie as well. Len is so burly--such a manly-man. I realize that physically speaking he could easily do with me what he wills if he were so inclined and that there is nothing that I could do to effectively resist him. I think this physical difference in power between us also brings forth feminine, submissive feelings in me, as being held in his strong arms makes me feel so small and delicate. But at the same time it also makes me feel taken-care-of and looked-after to be held in his powerful arms like that. That's another thing that I love so much about being the feminine partner during sex with a masculine man, as it makes me feel like I'm in a protective bubble and being taken care of by my man as I feel his stiff manhood inside me while he holds me close to him. That's such a comforting and reassuring feeling for me.

Len says I'm like a kitten, because I'm so affectionate with him. I love snuggling with him and kissing him. I love feeling the hair on his chest. I love sitting in his lap either naked or wearing just my panties or some skimpy lingerie and being held by him. I love sucking him and swallowing his masculine cream. Having Len's hard cock in my mouth also produces a very comforting feeling in me, in addition to a very feminine, submissive feeling.

As I think about what you said above, I suppose it is this affection that I have for a masculine man with me as the feminine partner which really is the ultimate in feminization and submission that a sissy can experience. Because I love Len. I've allowed myself to delve into my feminine desires to the extent that I can experience the love of a masculine man and love him in return, with him as my man and with me as his woman. That's such an utterly feminine experience; such a womanly experience. And it's submissive because of the naturally submissive feminine feelings that arise when one takes on the feminine role in a romantic relationship with a man. Like the lordosis behavior that I spoke about above, of which came so naturally to me without me even thinking about what I was doing. Just being held by Len makes me feel submissive, given his strength and burly manliness compared to me.

Since I've accepted myself as being feminine and gay, those womanly and submissive feelings in being the girlfriend of a masculine man feel very nice to me. Nowadays I feel extremely fortunate that I'm an effeminate, anoreceptive homosexual, so that I can partake of such girlie delights that are usually only experienced by women. While being the way I am now is something that I fought so hard against growing up--as I didn't want to be a faggot--now I love that I'm an out-of-the-closet gay sissy.

[Dolly Buster]

being the way I am now is something that I fought so hard against growing up--as I didn't want to be a faggot

What are the reasons that you didn't want to be a faggot?

I am sorta in a similar boat as the Old You.
A bit of ego-dystonic sexuality on my part.


I recognize that I am technically gay in the following way: I am aroused by assuming the role of a Whore.

For example: dressing like a whore and entertaining male clients is an exciting fantasy to me.
Now, since my birth certificate says Male, and I am excited by servicing Male clients, that would make me technically homo-sexual.


However: if I am on a train, and there is a hot teen girl to my right, and some 40 year old guy to my front, then I do not say: "This guy is adorable."

Instead, I say to myself: "This girl is divinely beautiful, I want to caress her. As for this fat dirty fuck in front of me, I sincerely hope he goes away ASAP."

So in that sense, I am not homosexual, but heterosexual.

Then again, I refuse to throw away my 3 pair of suspender stockings and 3 vibrators. It's all very complicated you see.

[Empress Christine]

Hi, Empress Christine. Thank you for your compliment on how I look. In the below link you can see more pictures of me. They're from 2004, but I haven't changed in looks hardly. I'm still the same dainty and feminine sissy.

"Jamie Michelle's photostream" http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamie_michelle/

I'm appreciative of your encouragement regarding me coming out of the closet and living my life as a gay sissy. It feels wonderful being feminine and gay and not having to worry about who knows. While it wasn't my intention to be an inspiration for others on this matter, I do hope that other males who are feminine in secret can eventually let their girlie side blossom for all to see. I think that many such males will like their lives much better when they can be girlie all the time. I know that's certainly the case with me. It's such a weight off of my shoulders not having to live out my life as a butch male and not having to worry about what others might suspect about me. I like it so much that I can be feminine all the time and that everyone who knows me in real life knows that this is the way I am.

Thank you for your congratulations on me finding my man Len. He's a real manly-man, very burly and hairy. I love sitting on his lap while being cradled in his arms as I feel the hair on his chest. He's so big and powerful, and being held in his strong arms like that makes me feel so little and delicate.

Of course, my favorite is when Len makes love to me. That makes me feel the most feminine out of all the feminine experiences that I have. I like how as a feminine person I get to feel sex on the inside. To me, being receptive like that is much more intense and intimate than the usual way guys have sex, which is on their outside. I love taking Len's erect manhood up into me. That's such an exquisitely feminine feeling for me. And since we're basically husband and wife, Len of course finishes inside my fanny. That makes me feel so very feminine too, as it makes me feel like I'm a real woman with my husband, making love just as a husband and wife would do. Plus I love knowing that I'm carrying my man's semen in my tushy as I go about my daily activities. Realizing that I have my man's load up my derrière makes me feel ultra-feminine.

And you're right, Empress Christine, as I also know that Len is happy with me as his girl. The way he kisses, cuddles and fucks me lets me know that he really likes me! Teehee.

I am sure that you do love the love making Jamie Michelle as you should. And I would say he must adore you, why wouldn't he

But I can see why the cuddling and affection is as pleasureable to you as the love making or atleast close. The affection is the part that makes you truly "his girl" and that is the ultimate in feminization and submission (for a sissy).

Enjoy your man and stay girlie

It's interesting that you mention submission in your above comments, Empress Christine. I'm not into Dominance & Submission, at least not in the sense of role-playing or setting-out any type of rules and so forth, but it does make me feel submissive to be with a powerful masculine man like Len. As I said, I don't like cupcake roles or play-acting, but it's a feeling that just comes naturally to me when I'm with a real man. Being mounted by Len during sex brings out very submissive feelings in me. It feels very primordial and ancient. It's like I'm taking part in a very ancient and sacred feminine ritual; like I'm connected to a source of primordial womanhood; that I've joined in the sorority of womanhood. It makes me feel like I'm getting to experience an intense form of pleasure that is usually the exclusive domain of women.

Not that I hold any pretense that I know what it's actually like to be a genetic woman, as to me that seems to be presumptuous. I didn't grow up feeling like a girl trapped in a male body. Even though I was a secret crossdresser from the age of 11 years, I used to think I was butch and straight--at least that's how I tried to conceive of myself. Hence, coming out as a fag--and an outwardly feminine fag, at that--carries with me particularly humiliating feelings than I suppose would be the case if I had grown up always knowing that I was gay, as I thought I was straight and butch like the other guys. Denial was obviously very strong in me, as I'd make up excuses to myself for why my secret dressing in my mom's clothes and anally masturbating while fantasizing about manly-men didn't really mean anything.

There is what is called lordosis behavior, also called mammalian lordosis, which is seen in female mammals during mating. It's where the female mammal arches her back and raises up her buttocks in order to be mounted by the male. When I'm with a masculine man in the doggy-style position--or even when standing while being taken by my man from behind--it comes naturally to me to arch my back and to raise my butt up in order to present myself for mounting by my man. Until recently I didn't even know that there was this term, lordosis behavior, for this feminine behavior that just came naturally to me.

So it appears that a lot of the submissive feelings that I have in being a feminine bottom with a masculine top are actually older than humanity itself, and are in fact instinctual and animalistic. These feelings seem to come naturally in taking on the feminine role sexually with a masculine male.

Regarding cuddling and kissing my man apart from during sex, yes, that makes me feel really girlie as well. Len is so burly--such a manly-man. I realize that physically speaking he could easily do with me what he wills if he were so inclined and that there is nothing that I could do to effectively resist him. I think this physical difference in power between us also brings forth feminine, submissive feelings in me, as being held in his strong arms makes me feel so small and delicate. But at the same time it also makes me feel taken-care-of and looked-after to be held in his powerful arms like that. That's another thing that I love so much about being the feminine partner during sex with a masculine man, as it makes me feel like I'm in a protective bubble and being taken care of by my man as I feel his stiff manhood inside me while he holds me close to him. That's such a comforting and reassuring feeling for me.

Len says I'm like a kitten, because I'm so affectionate with him. I love snuggling with him and kissing him. I love feeling the hair on his chest. I love sitting in his lap either naked or wearing just my panties or some skimpy lingerie and being held by him. I love sucking him and swallowing his masculine cream. Having Len's hard cock in my mouth also produces a very comforting feeling in me, in addition to a very feminine, submissive feeling.

As I think about what you said above, I suppose it is this affection that I have for a masculine man with me as the feminine partner which really is the ultimate in feminization and submission that a sissy can experience. Because I love Len. I've allowed myself to delve into my feminine desires to the extent that I can experience the love of a masculine man and love him in return, with him as my man and with me as his woman. That's such an utterly feminine experience; such a womanly experience. And it's submissive because of the naturally submissive feminine feelings that arise when one takes on the feminine role in a romantic relationship with a man. Like the lordosis behavior that I spoke about above, of which came so naturally to me without me even thinking about what I was doing. Just being held by Len makes me feel submissive, given his strength and burly manliness compared to me.

Since I've accepted myself as being feminine and gay, those womanly and submissive feelings in being the girlfriend of a masculine man feel very nice to me. Nowadays I feel extremely fortunate that I'm an effeminate, anoreceptive homosexual, so that I can partake of such girlie delights that are usually only experienced by women. While being the way I am now is something that I fought so hard against growing up--as I didn't want to be a faggot--now I love that I'm an out-of-the-closet gay sissy.

It sounds like you are naturally submissive and feminine Jamie Michelle

[Empress Christine]

being the way I am now is something that I fought so hard against growing up--as I didn't want to be a faggot

What are the reasons that you didn't want to be a faggot?

I am sorta in a similar boat as the Old You.
A bit of ego-dystonic sexuality on my part.


I recognize that I am technically gay in the following way: I am aroused by assuming the role of a Whore.

For example: dressing like a whore and entertaining male clients is an exciting fantasy to me.
Now, since my birth certificate says Male, and I am excited by servicing Male clients, that would make me technically homo-sexual.


However: if I am on a train, and there is a hot teen girl to my right, and some 40 year old guy to my front, then I do not say: "This guy is adorable."

Instead, I say to myself: "This girl is divinely beautiful, I want to caress her. As for this fat dirty fuck in front of me, I sincerely hope he goes away ASAP."

So in that sense, I am not homosexual, but heterosexual.

Then again, I refuse to throw away my 3 pair of suspender stockings and 3 vibrators. It's all very complicated you see.

I think that just because you prefer more attractive ladies, to old ugly men, doesn't mean you aren't at least a bisexual sissy, Dolly Buster:) What about a sexy, attractive, stud of a man?

[Dolly Buster]

What about a sexy, attractive, stud of a man?

No, I am actually not excited by the visuals of a man.

It begins with the woman. I'm excited by female sexuality, and I want to be in the female role.

I am unable to resist my urge to be a whore.


But this passion then collides with my Ego. It doesn't reconcile with my perception of myself.
So I have to keep stopping myself from practicing my desired role as a whore. It is quite frustrating.