Why Do I Love The Sissy you Are?

[Jamie Michelle]

I am sure that you do love the love making Jamie Michelle as you should. And I would say he must adore you, why wouldn't he :)

But I can see why the cuddling and affection is as pleasureable to you as the love making or atleast close. The affection is the part that makes you truly "his girl" and that is the ultimate in feminization and submission (for a sissy).

Enjoy your man and stay girlie ;)

It's interesting that you mention submission in your above comments, Empress Christine. I'm not into Dominance & Submission, at least not in the sense of role-playing or setting-out any type of rules and so forth, but it does make me feel submissive to be with a powerful masculine man like Len. As I said, I don't like cupcake roles or play-acting, but it's a feeling that just comes naturally to me when I'm with a real man. Being mounted by Len during sex brings out very submissive feelings in me. It feels very primordial and ancient. It's like I'm taking part in a very ancient and sacred feminine ritual; like I'm connected to a source of primordial womanhood; that I've joined in the sorority of womanhood. It makes me feel like I'm getting to experience an intense form of pleasure that is usually the exclusive domain of women.

Not that I hold any pretense that I know what it's actually like to be a genetic woman, as to me that seems to be presumptuous. I didn't grow up feeling like a girl trapped in a male body. Even though I was a secret crossdresser from the age of 11 years, I used to think I was butch and straight--at least that's how I tried to conceive of myself. Hence, coming out as a fag--and an outwardly feminine fag, at that--carries with me particularly humiliating feelings than I suppose would be the case if I had grown up always knowing that I was gay, as I thought I was straight and butch like the other guys. Denial was obviously very strong in me, as I'd make up excuses to myself for why my secret dressing in my mom's clothes and anally masturbating while fantasizing about manly-men didn't really mean anything.

There is what is called lordosis behavior, also called mammalian lordosis, which is seen in female mammals during mating. It's where the female mammal arches her back and raises up her buttocks in order to be mounted by the male. When I'm with a masculine man in the doggy-style position--or even when standing while being taken by my man from behind--it comes naturally to me to arch my back and to raise my butt up in order to present myself for mounting by my man. Until recently I didn't even know that there was this term, lordosis behavior, for this feminine behavior that just came naturally to me.

So it appears that a lot of the submissive feelings that I have in being a feminine bottom with a masculine top are actually older than humanity itself, and are in fact instinctual and animalistic. These feelings seem to come naturally in taking on the feminine role sexually with a masculine male.

Regarding cuddling and kissing my man apart from during sex, yes, that makes me feel really girlie as well. Len is so burly--such a manly-man. I realize that physically speaking he could easily do with me what he wills if he were so inclined and that there is nothing that I could do to effectively resist him. I think this physical difference in power between us also brings forth feminine, submissive feelings in me, as being held in his strong arms makes me feel so small and delicate. But at the same time it also makes me feel taken-care-of and looked-after to be held in his powerful arms like that. That's another thing that I love so much about being the feminine partner during sex with a masculine man, as it makes me feel like I'm in a protective bubble and being taken care of by my man as I feel his stiff manhood inside me while he holds me close to him. That's such a comforting and reassuring feeling for me.

Len says I'm like a kitten, because I'm so affectionate with him. I love snuggling with him and kissing him. I love feeling the hair on his chest. I love sitting in his lap either naked or wearing just my panties or some skimpy lingerie and being held by him. I love sucking him and swallowing his masculine cream. Having Len's hard cock in my mouth also produces a very comforting feeling in me, in addition to a very feminine, submissive feeling.

As I think about what you said above, I suppose it is this affection that I have for a masculine man with me as the feminine partner which really is the ultimate in feminization and submission that a sissy can experience. Because I love Len. I've allowed myself to delve into my feminine desires to the extent that I can experience the love of a masculine man and love him in return, with him as my man and with me as his woman. That's such an utterly feminine experience; such a womanly experience. And it's submissive because of the naturally submissive feminine feelings that arise when one takes on the feminine role in a romantic relationship with a man. Like the lordosis behavior that I spoke about above, of which came so naturally to me without me even thinking about what I was doing. Just being held by Len makes me feel submissive, given his strength and burly manliness compared to me.

Since I've accepted myself as being feminine and gay, those womanly and submissive feelings in being the girlfriend of a masculine man feel very nice to me. Nowadays I feel extremely fortunate that I'm an effeminate, anoreceptive homosexual, so that I can partake of such girlie delights that are usually only experienced by women. While being the way I am now is something that I fought so hard against growing up--as I didn't want to be a faggot--now I love that I'm an out-of-the-closet gay sissy.

It sounds like you are naturally submissive and feminine Jamie Michelle :)

Well, thank you, Empress Christine. While it was once something I struggled with, now I love it so much that I can be feminine all the time, especially when it comes to being with my man.

[susan9316]

Dear Empress
i do love the feminine parts of me that take up increasing space in my daily world. It is true that i can never be a real woman and that is a disappointment but i can and do embrace all that is feminine inside me. And if more and more of that is who i am in the world around me, then isn't that wonderful to experience. So if sometimes the thought of taking a hard cock in my mouth is delicious to ponder, so is shopping for a pretty outfit, letting a bit more of my femme side show, and just having as much time as i can for girl talk when possible. And i do appreciate Jamie Michelle' s comments and thoughts on being a sissy. Congratulations to you.

And Empress Christine, it is very special to have you and other Mistresses who can accept, appreciate and guide those of us who seek the special joy of being the best submissive sissies that we can be. hugs.

[Jamie Michelle]

That sounds good...

I was thinking I might like to try an Aneros prostate massager, while tucked into my panties with a feminine napkin...

Is anyone here familiar with the Aneros?

I am, of course :) They feel quite good from what I understand. The shape is designed to hit all the right spots and I'm told it really does!

Of course, a man's erect cock is the ultimate massage-tool for stimulating the G-spot, whether in females or in males (in the males' case, their G-spot being their prostate). The flesh of a hard cock is so velvety smooth, yet the erect shaft is so firm while still being flexible: it has the perfect amount of give to it in order to put the required amount of pressure on one's insides for maximal stimulation while not being so stiff as to be unpleasant (that is, so long as one has been worked-up to receive it properly, as of course it can hurt if the man just shoves it in). And its bulbous head feels so wonderful sliding across one's G-spot. Plus a man has his own motive power, and hence is able to thrust his internal-massage tool on his own accord--which hightens the internal-massage experience all the more, since massaging one's own prostate is a bit like tickling oneself: it's not nearly as intense as when someone else is doing it, so long as they know what they are doing.

So when it comes to having my prostate massaged, nothing compares to a big and stiff dick--and by that I mean a real cock attached to an actual man. A virile manly-man mounting me is the ultimate prostate-massage tool.

But then, evolution in the form of natural selection in effect "designed" the cock to be the ultimate internal-massage tool, so this oughtn't be too surprising. I'm just taking advantage of this eons-old selection-process in using the best tool available to stimulate my G-spot. I love having my prostate massaged, so I might as well use the best device for that job.

[Dena]

Thanks Jamie, Your posts are quite inspiring.

I heard an old Foreigner tune the other day "Star Rider", and found myself singing "Cock Rider"!

[Jamie Michelle]

Thanks Jamie, Your posts are quite inspiring.

I heard an old Foreigner tune the other day "Star Rider", and found myself singing "Cock Rider"!

Well, thank you, Dena. As I've said elsewhere, it isn't my intent to be inspiring to people by merely relating my own life experience. But in getting feedback from others that I have had such an effect upon does make me feel nice. Empress Christine also said a similar remark to me in this thread regarding being an inspiration for others, and I've had a number of other sissies tell me this.

It would be really nice if society could come to accept that some males will feel most comfortable being feminine, including in their romantic relationships. It would be nice if society didn't beat-down males who are this way.

We're not there yet, but in my own life I have seen some progress regarding society accepting gay people a bit more.

But in order for society to accept us more, I think it is necessary for some of us to be the vanguards of male effeminancy. The effemimate gay male to society is a joke, and even within the gay community the most prominent example of males dressing as women are drag queens, and that is also done as a joke, and after the performance the gay male takes off the feminine attire to go back to his life as a plain gay male. Yes, gay males almost always have a feminine aspect or demeanor to them in their mannerisms, speech, and so-forth (even with the "bears" and "leather-cupcake"), but they typically don't live their lives dressed en femme. And the gay community often doesn't like the outwardly flamboyant feminine gay males--especially the ones who actually live their lives dressed en femme--because one of the main public-relations schtick with the current male gay community is that they're just like straight guys exept that they love the cupcake. Ergo, straight society has nothing to fear from them, as it's not like they want to go outside in dresses, or something crazy and civilization-destroying like that.

Hence, the feminine gay male who dresses en femme gets beat-down from the gay community itself, as that visage conflicts with the public-relations image that they're trying to present to straight society.

Althought the image that they're trying to present to larger society is itself a false front, as trapped inside almost every gay man is a girlie-girl bursting at the seams. That includes the bears and leather-men. Even these "butch cupcake" almost universally have effeminate mannerisms and speech. Even the "straight-acting" gay guys aren't so straight-acting as they imagine themselves to be, as university studies have been conducted on so-called "straight-acting" gay males as compared with actual straight males, with each being video-recorded in their responses to various actions (such as being thrown a ball, or throwing a ball, or just being asked questions about the weather and so forth in order to record their speech mannerisms, etc.--nothing that in and of itself ought to reveal a gender or sexual preference, such as being asked questions on their personal life). But reviewers of the videos who knew nothing about the individuals were able to accurately determine to a high degree who were the straight men and who were the gay men, despite the gay men thinking of themselves as being "straight-acting".

By saying that "trapped inside almost every gay man is a girlie-girl bursting at the seams", by that I do not mean that these gay men necessarily have a great desire to dress as women--not to the extent of the typical crossdresser, that is. However, the desire to be feminine can be seen within the gay community in such clichéd customs as the drag show. And it can be seen in how they say such things to each other as "You go, girl!", and "Oh, girlfriend!"

It is the hormones in the womb which prinicapally determine what gender expression and sexual orientation a person will have for the rest of their life. It is very important when considering this issue to keep in mind that the two are not the same. However, the two are nevertheless very closely connected, as apparently the same part of the brain which controls gender expression is very intertwined and tied-up to the the part of the brain which controls sexual orientation. And hence there tends to be a great amount of crossover effect. But the crossover effect isn't necessarily total, and hence one gets many males who want to feel feminine by dressing pretty but perhaps only have a middling attraction for masculine men; and by the same token one gets males who have a strong attraction for masculine men but perhaps only have a middling desire to feel feminine by dressing pretty.

And by both sides of the token, one can get males who want to feel feminine by dressing pretty and who also have a strong attraction for masculine men.

Then of course there is the continuum of males who fall on some point between these various gender and sexual expressions. Think of it like a sliding scale. It doesn't necessarily have to be one or the other, but can be a mix or in-between state of the extreme ends of the scale. And in this case, there are two sliding scales, one controlling for gender expression, and the other controlling for sexual orientation. But as hormonal biology would have it, these two scales are closely connected. Again, they are not perfectly connected, but nontheless there tends to be a great deal of overlap, even if one scale happens to be pushed higher than the other.

Hence, the gay community has a dark secret which they are attempting to hide from straight society. The gay community is itself still in the closet on this issue. Like many people in the closet, they cupcake themselves. They lie to themselves more than they do anyone else. And that big, horrible, dark secret is male femininity.

As with many aspect of queerness, the straight community is actually often more perceptive than the queers are themselves. This straight perceptiveness is often unloving, outright hateful, and not uncommonally physically brutal. Yet a bigot isn't necessarily wrong in his or her perceptions, but rather wrong in thinking that those things are wrong.

The perception of the straight community is that gay men are feminine to a high degree. Indeed, that is a common schoolyard taunt of the bullies: that loving males and femininity are closely connected, such that the connection is taken for granted as being inseparable. Hence, the implication of a boy being called a "sissy" on the school grounds is that that boy is not only feminine in his demeanor, but that he must also have attraction to other males.

And if that taunt is because that boy actually is feminine in his disposition, rather than merely being a put-down to insult another, then the chances are high that that boy does have attraction to other males.

So in this, strangely enough, the bigots have a veridical insight into human nature which the male gay community is loathe to accept, despite said community's constant flirtation with male femininity.

Henc the reason I said above that in order for society to accept us more, I think it is necessary for some of us to be the vanguards of male effeminancy. As the most prominent portions of the male gay community have in effect made a deal with the devil. They've sold their soul in order to be accepted by straight society. As their public-relations line is this: "Hey, we're basically straight guys who happen to love other guys. It's not like we're going to be walking into your malls dressed as girls. So stop worrying, straight America, as we present no essential threat to your intolerance of gender-variance!"

The main way in which we can be vanguards for male femininity is by simply coming out of the closet. Indeed, it is only that way that we can gain a voice in the public sphere.

So to come full-circle in my comments, it wasn't my intent to be an inspiration for others by merely relating my life experience, but since people have told me that I have done so, what I do hope is that other sissies can see that they too can live their lives totally en femme, including when it comes to loving men. In relating my experience in living as an openly gay male, and being the feminine partner of a masculine man, I hope that other feminine males can come to realize that this is a very viable option for them, and hence that they don't have to live their lives closeted while feeling deep shame in having the feminine desires that they do. To such males out there: You too can live the life you've long fantasized about. You too can be the girlfriend (or even wife) of man, and that with everyone knowing about it.

For the feminine males who are afraid to fully embrace their femininity--including their feminine sexual orientation--due to their religious beliefs, I also have addressed this matter previously. Just to give a summation of that, God doesn't care about you being a feminine male or even a feminine gay male. The only thing God cares about is that we treat each other as we would have others treat us. For the details of this in Scripture, see Sec. 7.4.4: "The Soteriology of Existence" and Sec. 7.4.2: "God's Relation to the Old Testament" in my following article:

James Redford, "The Physics of God and the Quantum Gravity Theory of Everything", Social Science Research Network (SSRN), Sept. 10, 2012 (orig. pub. Dec. 19, 2011), 186 pp., doi:10.2139/ssrn.1974708, http://ssrn.com/abstract=1974708 , http://archive.org/download/ThePhysicsO ... of-God.pdf , http://theophysics.host56.com/Redford-P ... of-God.pdf , http://alphaomegapoint.files.wordpress. ... of-god.pdf , http://sites.google.com/site/physicothe ... of-God.pdf

So take heart: if God be for you, who can be against you? (Cf. Romans 8:31.)

[Dolly Buster]

 
I had bought some relatively basic prostate massager for $60 in 2011,
but now I would like to graduate to Nexus Revo for $185. However, those fools didn't have it at the store when I visited.

I wound up throwing away the $60 one for now, to free up space.
Because I have suspender stockings, lubes, plugs, dildos to keep as well.

gay males almost always have a feminine aspect or demeanor to them in their mannerisms, speech, and so-forth (even with the "bears" and "leather-cupcake")

Yeah but gays are totally weird because they combine feminine mannerisms, with masculine traits such as keeping a beard or being tops in sex.
That is completely foreign to me; so we are a third gender basically.
It defies common sense what gays do. I saw Alec Mapa at the GayVN Awards, and he is this tiny-stature guy with a high voice. But suddenly he starts discussing how he would TOP so-and-so !!
Bizarre and counter-intuitive behavior is all I see from gays.

Hence, the gay community has a dark secret which they are attempting to hide from straight society. The gay community is itself still in the closet on this issue. Like many people in the closet, they cupcake themselves. They lie to themselves more than they do anyone else. And that big, horrible, dark secret is male femininity.

I think you are wrong, gays are not hiding their true nature. They are just weirdos who are quite different than us.

Us being "Sissy Faggot Whores." A label that you as Jamie Michelle probably won't identify with.

These are some of my folders on the computer, notice how one is entitled "Sissy Faggot Whore":
http://www.xxximagehosting.com/images/h ... jbM26M.jpg


Anyway, gays are a different breed. A lot of times I see a PERFECTLY chiseled gay guy, but my attraction to him is exactly 00.00%.

Meanwhile if you suggested that I should cupcake some overweight truckers, I would be completely excited to do so.
So apparently there is a big difference between Gay Men, and Sissy Faggot Whores.

It is the hormones in the womb which prinicapally determine what gender expression and sexual orientation a person will have for the rest of their life.

I don't believe sexuality is genetic, because that would mean all sexuality is genetic. For instance a 27 year old straight woman enjoys BDSM with her boyfriend and it involves the golden shower fetish. So she wakes up one morning fantasizing how she's being cupcake on and swallowing cupcake.
So now, scientists would tell us that she was "born as a genetic рiss drinker," which is obviously a very stupid-sounding scientific publication.

So if she wasn't born a genetic рiss drinker -- then people aren't born genetic gays either.

[Devina Cox]

A gurl who is able to find a Woman or better yet Women to embrace their inner Femme' is the equivalent of winning the lottery.

[Jamie Michelle]

A gurl who is able to find a Woman or better yet Women to embrace their inner Femme' is the equivalent of winning the lottery.

Indeed. Particularly when that woman pushes one in the direction of loving on hard cock. That is such a femmy experience. I dread to think that there might be sissies out there who don't get to experience being a woman in all the ways in which they are capable, including in being the woman of a man sexually. Mmm.

[Jamie Michelle]

 
I had bought some relatively basic prostate massager for $60 in 2011,
but now I would like to graduate to Nexus Revo for $185. However, those fools didn't have it at the store when I visited.

I wound up throwing away the $60 one for now, to free up space.
Because I have suspender stockings, lubes, plugs, dildos to keep as well.



Yeah but gays are totally weird because they combine feminine mannerisms, with masculine traits such as keeping a beard or being tops in sex.
That is completely foreign to me; so we are a third gender basically.
It defies common sense what gays do. I saw Alec Mapa at the GayVN Awards, and he is this tiny-stature guy with a high voice. But suddenly he starts discussing how he would TOP so-and-so !!
Bizarre and counter-intuitive behavior is all I see from gays.

I agree that the usual idea of gays is weird to me, too. But that gets back to the truly feminine male being suppressed, such that the girlie boy who wants to dress in dresses and be with men isn't thought to be a standard part of homosexuality, but rather is thought of as being weird.

There is actually a term for this rejection by the gay community of the males who wish (or cannot actually hide it) to live very femininely outwardly all the time. It's called sissyphobia, and a book has actually been written on this phenomenon (see Tim Bergling, Sissyphobia: Gay Men and Effeminate Behavior [New York: Southern Tier Editions, 2001]). So I wasn't the first to comment on this unfortunate phenomenon by the gay community. In another post on this forum I related how gay men would tell me about how they love men but then postface it by telling me that it's not like they wanted to dress up as women--with the implication being that they aren't total fruits. As a secret crossdresser at the time, that always struck me as odd: that you're going to take a man's cock up your ass and in your mouth but putting on something pretty is just too fruity.

I think you are wrong, gays are not hiding their true nature. They are just weirdos who are quite different than us.

Us being "Sissy Faggot Whores." A label that you as Jamie Michelle probably won't identify with.

These are some of my folders on the computer, notice how one is entitled "Sissy Faggot Whore":
http://www.xxximagehosting.com/images/h ... jbM26M.jpg


Anyway, gays are a different breed. A lot of times I see a PERFECTLY chiseled gay guy, but my attraction to him is exactly 00.00%.

Meanwhile if you suggested that I should cupcake some overweight truckers, I would be completely excited to do so.
So apparently there is a big difference between Gay Men, and Sissy Faggot Whores.

Well, I think your desire to be a "whore" is holding you back from living your life. I don't know what your life situation is, but I think you will have much more satisfaction in being with a steady man who loves you.

If nothing else, a steady man can find all of your sensitive spots and poke you with his cock in all the right places. Whereas a bunch of strange men would never be able to poke you like you ought to be poked.

In real life, most of them would be quick cummers, and the rest would mostly fumble around. You have a fantasy-image in your mind whereby they're all hung and can fuck the daylights out of you. The reality is a very different matter, though. The reality--I think--would be rather disappointing.

At any rate, I don't think this "whore" idea of yours is going very far. It's just holding you back from a real relationship.

I don't believe sexuality is genetic, because that would mean all sexuality is genetic. For instance a 27 year old straight woman enjoys BDSM with her boyfriend and it involves the golden shower fetish. So she wakes up one morning fantasizing how she's being cupcake on and swallowing cupcake.
So now, scientists would tell us that she was "born as a genetic ?iss drinker," which is obviously a very stupid-sounding scientific publication.

So if she wasn't born a genetic ?iss drinker -- then people aren't born genetic gays either.

Hormonal influence isn't genetic, since we are all influenced by hormones. Genetics though can play a part in making it more likely that some hormonal level in the womb will make one a girlie boy, etc. But genetics for the most part is rather beside the point. What is the point is that our gender identity and sexual orientation is largely determined by the hormone levels in the womb.

As far as a woman liking degradation with her sex, most women don't--at least to the extremes that you're talking about. But for those who do, that too can have a hormonal component to it. As I talked about above regarding the two sliding scales involving gender identity and sexual orientation, it's possible for testosterone to affect a genetic female in the womb such that she has a male-type over-the-top sex-drive yet still is attracted to men. Such a sex-drive would predispose her to have a libido so strong that she does things which most regard as unseemly. So the examples you gave can be accounted for within the hormone paradigm, without resorting to genetics.