I hope not too many people are noticing It is very embarrassing and I don't want people to know I'm really a sissy even though I might want that subconsciously. But if I keep this up, it's only a matter of time before I am face to face with someone I know and I will have no way to hide the obvious way I am dressed. Then it is all in how they chose to see me.Empress Christine wrote:It sounds like you are being noticed Davina and apparently accepted by most, which is good I think
My most humiliating fantasy right now is being cupcake to go running in the morning wearing only my short little pink mesh running shorts and nothing but a bra-top filled with my breast forms. I think that would be a great punishment for not obeying my Mistress. And that would end all the pretense that I am actually a real man. It is exciting to imagine that all the girls I pass by would see me as a sissy faggot that they could "convince" me into doing anything they wanted. That has always been one of the primary things that make me so hard.
I don't know why, but I remember swearing to myself that this could never be the last time as I lay on the floor under my bed wearing my first bra. I was so excited but also paranoid to fall asleep and possibly be woken that way. But something about how it feels to have that bra band wrapped around me triggers a feeling of my mom hugging me and holding me tight. cupcake issues? Maybe, but on the outside, I had the most appropriate and normal upbringing and I don't know how or why I leaned this way.
But one of the most special feelings I can imagine is that special power a female has at the point where my body is beyond my control and she is able to make my clitty erupt and make a big mess. Of course, it requires my cooperation initially but once I am worked up to a certain point, it is no longer up to me or in my control and I love that feeling.
I imagine that a lot of sissies dream about being cupcake to prove they are a good sissy by obeying Mistress and learning to kneel, open their mouth, suck, and swallow, on command. But I have always had a different way of looking at it. I don't think it is too difficult to imagine that a Mistress can convince a guy to put on a bra and panties for her but the way I have always imagined that she liked to prove how much of a sissy I am is by focusing in on my panties and watching as I make a mess in them.
My wife bought this remote controlled butt plug that she could control with a little key-fob looking device which made it vibrate inside me. What an intense thing to deal with after hours of edging. One of my personal difficulties was that I always dreamed about being cupcake to cum IN my panties. This is very difficult and while my first love was bikini panties, I gravitated to the granny panties just to be able to keep myself IN them when I exploded. I started buying a lot of the French-cut or other high waist styles including the rumba panties just so my mess would be contained. That is how I gravitated to tights and leotards and began dreaming about being a ballerina with only my tutu to hide my erection.
BTW, I believe it was your blog I read about ruined orgasms and I loved it. I don't want to advertise that in front of my wife because I don't want her to get any ideas but I love edging for hours and to a point where the slightest touch results in an uncontrollable release that floods the front of whatever I am wearing. I think that for me, this is the hottest way for a Mistress to make a sissy prove he is a sissy. Telling him that he will be punished if he cums and then making him cum. I wish there were more stories and articles about that. It's difficult to find a porno that shows a sissy being put through that.
So what goes through the mind of these Ladies as they jog past me in the dark is mind boggling. I think I would love it if one of them called me a sissy faggot.