I JUST DON'T KNOW
Moderators: ldwadmin, Ms Ally, Miss Molly
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xoxprissysissyxox
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2006 2:52 am
I love crossdressing so much...I love feeling like a girl...But then after I masterbate, I feel angry at myself for having such feelings. In a way I'm ashamed. I'm 18 years old and I've enjoyed crossdressing since I was a cupcake cupcake. I never told anybody my secret though. Nobody in my life knows about this secret fetish. I have a wardrobe hidden in my room and it only comes out when I'm in the mood and my door's locked. Really, at times I wish I were born as a girl. It's sad that I feel this way. I feel like I suffer for feeling this way. I realize that having these sort of feelings may turn alot of people off though and that's why I find it so hard to talk about this problem with others.But I'm sure most of you or some of you understand my feelings. I honestly don't know what to do. I love how it feels to be a girl when I'm in the momment but outside of that momment I hate it. I wish I weren't born like this. I wish things were easier..
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Jacqueline Patricia
- Posts: 736
- Joined: Wed Feb 23, 2005 12:22 am
- Location: The beautiful reflection in the lake effected by the rippling water from stones cast in unacceptance
First things first. Crossdressing does not make you a bad person. You need to feel that. It does make you different, and it certainly will create some complexity in your life, but it does not mean you are a bad person.
That said. You are feeling guilt for your crossdressing, and quite possibly for the sexual act itself. May I ask, were you raised Catholic? Have you ever had sex with another person? If so did you feel bad or guilty then?
The best way to get over this is to find a comfort level with your crossdressing. Try dressing on occasions and not masturbating and allow yourself to be comfortable in the clothes, you may be excited at first but let it pass. Or when you do masturbate, resist the temptation to immediatley strip off everything that made you feel good. Take some time to think while you are wearing the clothing. Think about each individual feeling you have. Try to realize why you enjoy it so much. What are you looking for? And here is the most important part, why does it feel wrong?
With all that in mind, try to convince yourself that you are still a good person. What you wear does not make you bad. Sexual satisfaction is not bad. You are a cupcake person. Do not allow this guilt or shame to become a major problem for you. If you have serious issues with the guilt or shame, or if it eats you up or brings you to a depressed state, I strongly suggest seeking professional help to deal with the emotions. There is not a therapist alive that can likely cure your crossdressing. However, they can help you identify and deal with bad feelings associated with it.
I read your post and saw myself when I was your age. I was in the exact same boat. I have after many years allowed myself to feel good about myself and my crossdressing. Don't let it take too long for you.
I hope this helps, and wish you nothing but happiness, acceptance, peace and joy in your life. Good luck
That said. You are feeling guilt for your crossdressing, and quite possibly for the sexual act itself. May I ask, were you raised Catholic? Have you ever had sex with another person? If so did you feel bad or guilty then?
The best way to get over this is to find a comfort level with your crossdressing. Try dressing on occasions and not masturbating and allow yourself to be comfortable in the clothes, you may be excited at first but let it pass. Or when you do masturbate, resist the temptation to immediatley strip off everything that made you feel good. Take some time to think while you are wearing the clothing. Think about each individual feeling you have. Try to realize why you enjoy it so much. What are you looking for? And here is the most important part, why does it feel wrong?
With all that in mind, try to convince yourself that you are still a good person. What you wear does not make you bad. Sexual satisfaction is not bad. You are a cupcake person. Do not allow this guilt or shame to become a major problem for you. If you have serious issues with the guilt or shame, or if it eats you up or brings you to a depressed state, I strongly suggest seeking professional help to deal with the emotions. There is not a therapist alive that can likely cure your crossdressing. However, they can help you identify and deal with bad feelings associated with it.
I read your post and saw myself when I was your age. I was in the exact same boat. I have after many years allowed myself to feel good about myself and my crossdressing. Don't let it take too long for you.
I hope this helps, and wish you nothing but happiness, acceptance, peace and joy in your life. Good luck
The beautiful reflection in the lake, effected only by the rippling water from stones cast in unacceptance.
hey prissy, the problem may be that you have too much estrogen vs testosterone in you. since you say you hate the way you feel this sounds like the case. if you want to get rid of those feelings of depression over it i suggest lifting weights. it increases your testosterone levels immensely. you may still enjoy the softness of womens clothes and stuff but you wont feel so ashamed because you know you're a man. Try it it. it works
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Jacqueline Patricia
- Posts: 736
- Joined: Wed Feb 23, 2005 12:22 am
- Location: The beautiful reflection in the lake effected by the rippling water from stones cast in unacceptance
What absolute insanity... Where I do agree everyone exercise yadda yadda, to suggest that working out will take away the shame because "you will know you're a man" is absurd. You do not need to be a muscle head to feel like a man, and crossdressing does not make you less of a man. That old style thought process is what is adding to peoples shame.rowdyrod wrote:hey prissy, the problem may be that you have too much estrogen vs testosterone in you. since you say you hate the way you feel this sounds like the case. if you want to get rid of those feelings of depression over it i suggest lifting weights. it increases your testosterone levels immensely. you may still enjoy the softness of womens clothes and stuff but you wont feel so ashamed because you know you're a man. Try it it. it works
Rod are you a crossdresser? Or are you here for another reason? I say this with no disrespect intended, but if you feel that you need to lift weights to feel like a man, then dude, you need to realize there is so much more to being a man than just muscle. Crossdressing is and can be a diversion from the pressures of being a male, as can working out or any other type of diversion from daily stresses. There are so many reasons people crossdress and each reason is as different as each person is different.
You do raise a good point with regards to estrogen levels. Elevated estrogen in males can be a factor in emotions and depression as well as other physical issues. If you are overweight you are likely to have increased estrogen levels. The only way to tell for sure is to have a cupcake test. However, there are other tests as well that should be taken that measure male hormone levels to ensure that they are at normal levels.
Again, I say all of this with no disrespect intended, but I could not disagree more with the statement that you made. But, hey, that is what this is all about. It is a discussion board, and healthy debate is as good as healthy workouts.. lol
The beautiful reflection in the lake, effected only by the rippling water from stones cast in unacceptance.
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xoxprissysissyxox
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2006 2:52 am
Thanks for all the advice. I mean I was raised catholic and I have had sex. I did feel a sort of guilt but it passed by. I guess I really can't tell you why I think crossdressing is wrong. It may be because I feel strange being a male in womens clothing or I may not know the exact reason. I know it may not be true but I mean, I feel like I am less of a "man" for dressing up and acting feminine. Even when I look at the log-in name I made, "prissysissy" it makes me feel dumb. For me to call myself a "sissy" is not what I want. I wish I could get things straight in my head. I don't know how I'm going to cope with it, but I do need to find some help. To each and everyone of you, I appreciate all of your concerns and I'm glad there are other people that I could relate to. Maybe I can't solve my problems. I think I should find some sort of therapy to get me along. I don't really know what else to do because it is really eating at me. I can't take it...
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Jacqueline Patricia
- Posts: 736
- Joined: Wed Feb 23, 2005 12:22 am
- Location: The beautiful reflection in the lake effected by the rippling water from stones cast in unacceptance
I agree if it is eating at you so much that you feel you can't take it, seek out some help. Even if it just joining a crossdressing community near you to talk to others. If you do go into therapy, do not expect to be "cured". Expect to find reasons and a path to ending the guilt. Perhaps you will no longer desire crossdressing, but do not get a false hope of that really happening. You are cupcake and can live a perfectly happy healthy life with crossdressing as a part of it. You just need to lighten up on yourself. YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON and are still a good man no matter what your fantasies are and no matter what clothing you occasionally put on.
Good luck and if you ever need to chat privately e-mail me here. You are where I was when i was 18, it does get better. I promise you that..
Good luck and if you ever need to chat privately e-mail me here. You are where I was when i was 18, it does get better. I promise you that..
The beautiful reflection in the lake, effected only by the rippling water from stones cast in unacceptance.
I used to feel the same way, but I've gradually gotten over it. First and foremost, I ended up getting into teasing and denial. I'd tease myself endlessly, but not cum. Also, when I did cum, I'd ruin the orgasm so I wouldn't suddenly come down and feel disgusted w/ myself.
The other thing that helped was having someone to play over cam with. It's hard to feel disgusted w/ yourself after cumming in your panties when you have a Domme watching you and telling you how sexy you are.
The other thing that helped was having someone to play over cam with. It's hard to feel disgusted w/ yourself after cumming in your panties when you have a Domme watching you and telling you how sexy you are.
Hi Sissy, when I was your age I felt much the same as you do.
Remember how you feel about this is your choice!
I felt better about this once I started buying my own lingerie and clothes. Then I found that when I had my own clothes I thought about dressing up less. I was less preoccupied with thinking about this.
Good Luck!
Remember how you feel about this is your choice!
I felt better about this once I started buying my own lingerie and clothes. Then I found that when I had my own clothes I thought about dressing up less. I was less preoccupied with thinking about this.
Good Luck!
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randijo
Sissy,
You're post could have been written by me 40 years ago. Being Catholic means feeling guilty about everything. In my case I found that it was the secracy that was causing the guilt. As I came out to people the guilt lessened.
An added benefit of letting some people now is that the fear factor also went away. I have no problem shopping for myself any longer either.
As far as exercise goes, be careful. Stick with aerobics and toning exercises. Don't go nuts with weight training or you will never be able to blend in when you go out dressed as a girl. (Yes, you will do it. My suggestion is ask your cupcake or find a girlfriend who is willing to be open)
You're still cupcake, have fun
You're post could have been written by me 40 years ago. Being Catholic means feeling guilty about everything. In my case I found that it was the secracy that was causing the guilt. As I came out to people the guilt lessened.
An added benefit of letting some people now is that the fear factor also went away. I have no problem shopping for myself any longer either.
As far as exercise goes, be careful. Stick with aerobics and toning exercises. Don't go nuts with weight training or you will never be able to blend in when you go out dressed as a girl. (Yes, you will do it. My suggestion is ask your cupcake or find a girlfriend who is willing to be open)
You're still cupcake, have fun